Help managers handle when direct reports get defensive during 1-on-1 meetings.
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Type: Video activity
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Topic: 1-on-1s and Conflict Management
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Audience: Experienced and New managers
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Group Size: 4 - 12
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Duration: 20 - 30 minutes
Intro & set up
“In order to help us learn about 1-on-1s, I’m going to play a short video about how an experienced manager handles situations when direct reports get defensive. After that, I’ll ask the group a few questions to see what we can learn from this experience.”
Open the video in a new window.
Discussion questions
- At what point — or for what reasons — would it be appropriate to use this approach in a 1-on-1 meeting?
- Do you agree with James’ suggested approach of being the first one to be vulnerable? Why or why not?
- Do you think the example questions he uses reflect this approach well?
- Are there any others that you would add?
- Have you ever used this approach with others, or has anyone used it with you?
- What was your experience like?
- What were the other factors that made it work well (or not)?
- What would you do differently if you were in a similar situation again?
- How would you know whether the approach of being the first one to be vulnerable has worked (and when the direct report is ready to open up about themselves)?
- What other ways can you think of to set up the meeting as a safe space?
If you want help preparing to facilitate this activity, check out our article: How to facilitate a group discussion.
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